


Spock finds Fanfictions

by ScotCoyjedii



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Spock vs fanfiction, crack!fic, logic doesn't apply!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 17:18:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1696205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScotCoyjedii/pseuds/ScotCoyjedii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title says it all!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spock finds Fanfictions

**Author's Note:**

> I did this for Memorial day, Happy Memorial day everyone!  
> Star Trek doesn't belong to me, don't take this seriously as a one-shot crack!fic.  
> I kinda make fun of fanfictions so please don't hate me ;) all in good fun.

A normal day on the bridge fairly uneventful as Tyana MacBeth was doing something on a old device she called an 'Iphone' which she had charged and brought with her today figuring it would be another boring day on the bridge with 'a bunch of lifeless hunks of rocks to scan'. Half the time the Captain James T Kirk wondered if this was a freakin' joke to her. I am pretty sure she's probably going to be laughing on the inside for the rest of eternity.She started her shift next to Nyota Uhura as usual with her she had the attention span  _supposedly_  of a Earth Chipmunk so she often said. Like some sort of sick joke-on-me forewarning like she wanted to be known when she starts rambling tune her out but as Mister Spock soon noted that 'her mind is on a different frequency than ours meaning she is picking up on thoughts she doesn't subconsciously realize that she is picking up on'.

        "What isn't and what is are two different forms of spamming ...no...no...not  spamming something else.... Phishing? No that isn't right either....scanning-wavelength frequency that's the one!" She was talking to herself again. Sometimes I swear she can be so damn obnoxious on purpose this was everyday not-on-purpose-obnoxious.

         "Are you trying to quote something or someone? Or are you in one of those 'moods' as you so call it?" Another crew member snapped at her she seemed shocked not even realizing she was talking out loud.

         "No I got a text in Yiddish." She stated with a cool smile.

          "What's Yiddish?"Sulu asked I swear she was about ready to burst into a fit of laughter but started to breathe out her mouth instead of laugh.

        "Jewish language."

        "You speak it?"

        "No, I know what it is though. You have frozen the internet so the info is plainly in use or the info is their will you use it hmmm?"

       "What are you on right now?"

       "My I-phone. I think they just insulted me so i responded back een Hebrew, the text of calligraphy in Hebrew is so very beautiful though I like Arabic better."

      "I don't understand why do they call it an I-phone?"Spock asked.

       "Last time I explained it you took its meaning literally." She was irritated by Spock.

       "We tried to explain something to you and---" Sulu began.

        "I know! Really you people don't get it when someone doesn't want to know its on a need to know basis if it isn't relevant at the point in time than I don't need to know. Seriously do I _have to explain it_ to everyone I damn meet? I get sick and tired of explaining everything to everyone its a waste of my time ,breath and energy. When all I get are dumbfounded looks like I freakin' nuts." Tyana said icily.

         "Why you complaining?"

          "This isn't complaining, complaining would be me in sickbay with several broken bones. That is the only time I complain or should I explain it _again_ when i just did." She was irate now some people were surprised to see her freak out when a bunch of caterpillars from the xenobiology lab crawled on her arm. Putting down her phone she started to freak out. She ran into the Turbolift which was closed by the way. Knocking herself out cold when she did so, all Spock could say was : "Fascinating."

"Well that happened." James T Kirk was trying ever so hard not to laugh he failed.

"I don't get it." Sulu said.

* * *

"Let me guess you have a fear of Caterpillars?"McCoy asked when she woke up. 

"I had two moth caterpillars crawl up my leg when I was nine thirty minutes apart after eating corn on the cob so what is your best guess?" She was being sarcastic now as it was dripping with it. McCoy was used to her attitude by now. He just rolled his eyes she was by far less prickly than Roza was who suffered an accident. One that he couldn't stop much to his own guilt. McCoy pushed aside those thoughts and memories for a later date, when he would _have to face them_ and Tyana was more fun loving. She saw the positive in a negative and always managed to get a laugh out of somebody at least once a year. She had told them a joke she made them laugh so hard she made them forget what they were talking about.

"I'll take that as a yes."

* * *

"'Am Russian.'" Chekov was reading from his PADD his face threatening to break out in a smile.

"What?"

"Ees the--"

"Internet, we found it along with something else---"

"Fanfiction."

"Fan-whats?"

"Oh joy." Tyana said sitting back in her seat enjoying this a full blown grin on her face.

"Yay!"

"What?"

"My favorite thing to read without having to buy anything except maybe at one time,  not nowadays pay the bills to get the internet."

"Half the time everybody ignores you ya' know that?"McCoy asked her truly curious if she realized that at all.

"And I am certain when I actually say something and it makes sense. As a forewarning no one will listen and ya' know what?"

"What?"

"It will come true."

"Can you send me the app?"

"Yeah."

"Forewarning Señor Spock most Fanfiction websites don't require warning labels so you might not know what you are getting either." Tyana warned him. He didn't listen as always he should have.

* * *

"Mister Spock are you alright?" Kirk entered into Spock's room where he was on his PADD in deep confusion.

"Ewwww."He never saw Spock so disgusted or even hear him say that before in his life.

"What?"

"Fanfiction's?"

"Yes,"

"Which ones?"

"A Game of Thrones and NCIS."  
"Different types not same cross over fandom's?"

"Basically. Doesn't matter. They are still gross beyond understanding. I do not understand why Humans would write this if it involves Murder or sexual fantasies."

"Tyana tried to warn you."

"I should have listened then."

"Forget about the fandom's."

"I cannot."

"Listen **Spock**   _its_ just a bunch of long dead humans having an outlet for themselves doing something its just a bunch of words written down  _they can't hurt anybody_ until you act upon them. Then and only then do they actually mean something." Kirk was serous taking his first officer by the arms he was serious.

_"I fail to_ understand."Spock said calmly he was spooked now by his Captain's behavior their was fear in his eyes.

"Did I ever tell you about my Uncle Frank? Where he got all his ideas?"

"No that you failed to mention."

"He got it from novels that he had and Fanfiction's with torture in them."

"Well...." Spock was speechless his thoughts stalled temporarily.

"Forget about them,"

Spock and Jim hugged because they just are friends trying to help each other perhaps one day soon they will be more than just friends? As the monk said 'we shall see' so many times before and those words rang in Tyana's ears making a difference to her days.

_**Fin**_   

   

        

                     


End file.
